In a simple yet profound teaching of one of the desert fathers, a hermet once advised: “If someone speaks well, agree. If they speak poorly, reply, ‘I know not of such matters.’ Do not argue, and you will know peace.” At first glance, this advice may seem passive, even dismissive, but within it lies a profound truth: the path to inner peace often requires stepping away from the need to argue or prove oneself.
In our modern world, this wisdom has never been more relevant. Social media, workplace debates, and even family dinners can become battlegrounds of opinion, where the need to be right often overshadows the pursuit of harmony. What might this ancient practice teach us about living peacefully today? And how might this seemingly small discipline lead to greater personal growth?
The Timeless Wisdom of Non-Argument
The advice of the monk reflects a deep understanding of human nature. People argue because they want to be heard, to be understood, or to prove their point. But arguments rarely resolve differences. Instead, they often escalate conflict, leaving both sides frustrated and drained.
This teaching isn’t about suppressing your beliefs or agreeing with falsehood. It’s about recognizing when engaging in a dispute adds no value. Consider the biblical wisdom from Proverbs: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Choosing not to argue is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength and discernment.
The Battlefields of Modern Life
1. Social Media: A Testing Ground for Ego
Social media has become a platform where opinions clash daily. A single post can spark a storm of arguments, with no clear resolution in sight. The monk’s advice, applied here, suggests a revolutionary approach: Instead of reacting, pause. If you agree with something, acknowledge it. If not, simply disengage.
As Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). By choosing peace over conflict, you honor not only others but also your own well-being.
2. Personal Relationships
Arguments with loved ones can leave lasting scars, even when they stem from trivial issues. Instead of fighting to win, imagine responding with calm and empathy. Acknowledging good points and refraining from engaging in unproductive debates can preserve harmony and deepen trust.
This mirrors Paul’s advice in Romans: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Peace in relationships often begins with the decision to prioritize connection over correction.
3. The Workplace
Disagreements at work are inevitable, but arguing rarely leads to better outcomes. Instead of asserting dominance, focus on understanding different perspectives. By responding with humility, you build credibility and foster a collaborative environment.
The Personal Development Perspective
1. Protecting Your Energy
Arguments drain emotional and mental energy. Every moment spent in heated disputes is a moment stolen from growth, creativity, and joy. When you disengage, you reclaim your energy for pursuits that truly matter.
2. Developing Emotional Intelligence
Choosing not to argue demonstrates self-control and emotional maturity. It shows that you are confident enough in your truth that you don’t need others’ validation.
3. Cultivating Inner Peace
Inner peace isn’t found in winning arguments. It’s found in the stillness that comes when you stop fighting battles that don’t need to be fought. As Jesus Himself demonstrated when facing His accusers before the crucifixion, sometimes the most powerful response is silence (Matthew 27:12).
Practical Steps to Practice Non-Argument
- Pause Before Responding:
- Before reacting, ask yourself: Is this worth my peace?
- If it’s not, let it go.
- Use Disarming Phrases:
- Adopt neutral responses like, “That’s an interesting perspective,” or the monk’s own advice: “I know not of such matters.”
- Embrace Listening Over Talking:
- Listening doesn’t mean agreeing, but it fosters understanding and connection.
- Reflect on the Source of Your Need to Argue:
- Often, arguments are less about truth and more about ego. Recognize when the urge to engage is about proving yourself rather than seeking peace.
Finding Your Truth Through Peace
The monk’s wisdom isn’t about suppressing your voice or compromising your values. It’s about choosing where to direct your energy. By refusing to argue, you allow yourself the space to listen deeply—not just to others, but also to your own inner voice.
Peace is not a passive state but an active choice. It’s a commitment to rise above conflict and live from a place of clarity and confidence. As Proverbs reminds us: “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding” (Proverbs 17:27).
Conclusion
In a world filled with noise and contention, the monk’s advice offers a refreshing path to simplicity and calm: “Do not argue, and you will know peace.” It’s an invitation to step out of the cycle of conflict and into the stillness where truth resides. Today, as you navigate the challenges of modern communication, consider this question: What battles can you lay down to protect your peace?
Ancient Whispers 
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